JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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