she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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