I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
