hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
