I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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