Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
