what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You ruined the universe
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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