It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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