He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
