I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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