I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
