I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
