He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
