I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
