K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
