if you like me you must not know who I am
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
