wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All the doctor said was why
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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