bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
