I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
