Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
