I wish I only lived at night.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
