..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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