She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
