You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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