I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
