Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
