We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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