is your mom at the bar?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
