I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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