do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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