I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
