He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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