Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
