If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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