hotel room ftw
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
BRING THE BAGELS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
