The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize