Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize