how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
