Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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