I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
