dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
