Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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