I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
