i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
