dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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