Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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