you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
