I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
