Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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