yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
