I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
