Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
