I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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