Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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