he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
