i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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