Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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