Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
