Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
