fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize