It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All the doctor said was why
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
