I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
