So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
