I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize