So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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